Yes it makes you prideful
And arrogant
And self centered
You spent so much time trying to love you
Now that you do
You won't let her
Be your friend
Or him
Or her
You're too busy doing YOU things
trying to make yourself better
And yes it is prideful
That you've hurt so many people in your life
But as long as your happy
None of that even matters
Because the knife you used
You've thrown it away in to the lake
Blood dripping from your hands
And you can wash that off
But girl
That scar in they back is still there even today
You can say you're sorry
And try to put that bandaid over the shattered glass
But none of that will ever matter if you never kiss their
Ask me what I really think is right
Ask when the devil come in my ear
What Imma Say
And it's "Screw that"
They're more important than me
I'm happy regardless of what's to be
So I'm more worried about you
And your sanity
I'm worried about taking away my vanity
Because during my first 18 years of living
And probably some even there after
I've hurt so many gosh darn people
I dont see how I even still matter
Because the bad always outweighs the good
And the good is hardly remembered
By those you hurt that one time
But if you're around anyone long enough
They'll eventually hurt you too
That's why I try to stay to myself as much as possible
Because I know that's what I'll do
I know I hurt you
When I rubbed your tummy and said you'd never lose that
I know I hurt you
When I physically punched your face then your heart and was ahead of the race
Leaving you behind me
I know I hurt you
When I let him lay in my bed
And the fact of the matter is
You never even had that truth in your head
I know I hurt you
When I stole your innocence right out of your hands
And dammit I'm sorry
Those things were never in my plans
I'd been fighting this lion with my bare hands and I actually believed I had a good chance of winning
I was lost and torn made mistakes since the day I was born
And I hate the Dia I use to be
I hated her
And I know you hated me
I wanted and still wanna be so much more
And I'm so sorry
To any and every one I've ever hurt
Made sad
Made mad
Cry
Disappointed
Neglected or left
I'm starting all over in my life today
And I pray this isn't a waste of breath
Id spend years and write an individual letter pressing my heart for ink & my hand going until it bleeds sanity
to each of you
I swear
But it'd be close to infinity
So I'm just gonna leave this right here
Because you know who I'm talking to
I'm sorry to you
everyone I've ever made question
Who
Why'd I ever look up to you
So please don't put me on a pedestal
Cuz I know better
And I'm still a fool
Joy revolves around forgiveness
And Ive forgiven
Now I just pray you can forgive me, my pride, and my past life too
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