(Poem)
A poem I wrote about 6 months ago, "Someone once told me your poems don't start until you start telling the truth.. So I consider this my first poem. " I have many true poems saved up. But I think to be performed would be better, look out for me on the stage soon. Until then..
Distance over Depth.
Distance was not the issue so stop making it your excuse.
Tryna keep it 3hunna but at the same time can't show your boys that you might actually have an arrow carved out of your chest through your back.
Because it wasn't the distance you were afraid of
But the idea of me finding someone better than you
Me discovering that there's more to life than dull conversations and waiting hours for phone calls.
More than accepting the role of a main because "it's ok he knows where home is...."
You knew one day I would see that there's more than an occasional good morning text
while you're having good burning sex
with a sloth of whom you never intend to speak to again.
You knew if I somehow learned that cursing me out
And expressing false motives of love was not ok
That I would make like a tree
An "I love you" wasn't enough if it came from the lower half of your body
And though some of these events prove to be false
The spirit of my heart claims you are guilty and nothing or no one can change my mind
If I somehow discovered a man who didn't want to know what life would be like without me
a man who refused to use distance as an excuse and love as a tool
To try and nail
Then I could peel the very bit of you still clinging to my heart off and look at it without spite
I hope you never have to hear this poem.
And that the kids we were suppose to have aren't looking down wondering why mommy's so angry at daddy
ya see because I used to be PISSED
because daddy was your moms first love
And he taught her how to love.
He loved her in a sense
But moms love was that of the uconn women
And your dad's was something like Baylor.
Still present but not apparent
And I couldn't be loved like that
I refused to be loved in secrecy
and weep in my blankets
and wipe my tears with the very ink I wrote for you
trying to silence my cries so my roomate couldn't hear
I refused to hold on to a heart that was no longer mine
I'm not bitter I promise
And if you take this the wrong way it just proves even more how we weren't meant to be
Because distance wasn't the issue
I think you were just too scared to love anyone as much as I use to love you.
Now I don't.
