21. Rich Niggaz

(Poem)

Many people have 10 homes.

610, 042 people in America do not have 1.

Each year 3.5 million experience homelessness each year.

100 million people in the world do not have a home. 

Most are women and children. 

Do not judge me for being blessed

Judge me for not sharing my blessings

"Only God can judge me"

Quite the contrary.

Anyone can judge me, but only God's judgement matters.

I wonder what he will say when we become face to face and I tell him I had 10 million dollars and met 10 nba ballers

Thank you for my very nice cars

And the private jet I have 

Thank you for helping me be a star

And for the TV set I have

Which is when he will look to me and say 

What about the family I gave you 

Or the fact you even have one home

So many can only roam 

And here you are with multiple cars

While millions of my other children are addicted to bars

They were never introduced to me

Because you advertised to television

And they did not have one

Because you had a show yes you did 

But how could they see it

You spoke to the ones who already had enough

While they watched they're dreams disappear 

So who will reach out to those of my children 

While you are busy paying for someone to clean your houses

I have written it is harder for a camel to get through the eye of a needle

Then a rich man to make it into my kingdom

The woman was blessed because all she had was perfume

And she poured it on my feet 

While you spray yourself with wealth

And the way you've portrayed me stinks

Who helps my children in the ghettos

While you're avoiding the hoods

Who is helping my children in India

The ones who are misunderstood 

Being persecuted for their faith in me

As you continued making your show

Will you be able to enter my kingdom?

The world will never know. 

So I say give back what you receive

Give a crazy love to those in need

The ones who rely on shade from trees

Who do not have a car to pay a fee

Or any place to catch Z's

Live humbly as I did

When I sent my son to save you 

give them 50 dollars 

When you only have fifty 3

Give up the life of the worldly

Only then will a rich man please me. 

20. Love Yourz

(Poem)

It's no surprise I'm alive

It's not a coincidence air still makes its way into my mouth through my lungs and back out 

It is not by chance that the trees supply the oxygen 

And gravity brings me to my knees so I am able to praise you

When I was 11 years old I received my first bible

It was Christmas Day in my dads 1 bedroom apartment 

I remember it like yesterday 

Weekends with my dad 

And weekdays with my mom

Since the age of 1 the place that I'm from is still foreign to me

Moved through at least 7 different apartments until the age of 13 when my dad rented a house with two bedrooms just so my sisters and I could have a room for ourselves

My mom worked whataburger and my dad Pizza Hut until they both got better jobs and we began to have to pay for school lunch 

No more food stamps we did not need 

And the crazy thing is back then I was free

I was free as I am now and as I write all this down my face cannot frown

Because we were so happy 

Happy to have each other regardless of our things

Happy to hug one another and all the joy the season brings

My parents weren't together and times I rejected that

Thought they somehow had a chance till keke was born and Jadyne too 

So it was just me and kevaughn and Jay and you 

Momma I love you so much 

You always tried to do what was best for me

But in my mind I wanted to negotiate my destiny 

So I harmed you and I'm sorry for all the pain I caused

Please forgive me because I know I have many flaws

Dad you tried your best to work hard so we could have things

But what I remember most is the times we spent together

When you took us outside and played basketball on the goal by the volleyball court at the apartments on mcardle

Or when you coached my basketball team 

Or or how you took us out to eat every year on your birthday and each time the place we ate at soon after closed down

I love you so much and I thank you for all you've done

Only now do I know how all these things and more played out to who I would become

Life was hard but we had each other and that's the moral of my message

For what's money without happiness

And things without no blessings 

blessed to be alive and breath another day

Blessed to look outside and see the trees sway

Blessed to have eyes that open and work clearly 

Blessed to have a mother and father who love me so dearly

Blessed to have a family and a grandma in my life

Many people can't count all those blessings and they turn to a knife

Turn to satan and hear him spit lies into their head

Listen to him say that they'd rather be dead than to live in a 5 story mansion

Rather be dead than to have a million bucks

Be dead and give up all there trucks

For what's money without happiness 

And things without no blessings

The sad thing is we only learn the truth when life brings lessons

Life gives you lemons, will you make lemonade?

Or complain you have no sugar then call on the maid

Who comes in sweetly and asks what you need

You spit in her face and disgust with greed

But I grew up in the city and tho sometimes we had less

Compared to some my Niggaz down the block man we were blessed

No such thing as a life that's better than yourz 

I'll sit and wait in the hallway until my God opens doors

And I've never been this happy until I counted my blessings

God has been so good to me I wish I could express my gratitude

But that's what he did when he nailed his own son to the cross

Right when the devil said checkmate

He resurrected and told him "no, you lost" 

19. The Come Up

(Poem)

A poem I wrote about 6 months ago, "Someone once told me your poems don't start until you start telling the truth.. So I consider this my first poem. " I have many true poems saved up. But I think to be performed would be better, look out for me on the stage soon. Until then.. 

Distance over Depth. 

Distance was not the issue so stop making it your excuse.

Tryna keep it 3hunna but at the same time can't show your boys that you might actually have an arrow carved out of your chest through your back.

Because it wasn't the distance you were afraid of

But the idea of me finding someone better than you

Me discovering that there's more to life than dull conversations and waiting hours for phone calls. 

More than accepting the role of a main because "it's ok he knows where home is...."

You knew one day I would see that there's more than an occasional good morning text 

while you're having good burning sex 

with a sloth of whom you never intend to speak to again.

You knew if I somehow learned that cursing me out 

And expressing false motives of love was not ok

That I would make like a tree

An "I love you" wasn't enough if it came from the lower half of your body

And though some of these events prove to be false 

The spirit of my heart claims you are guilty and nothing or no one can change my mind

If I somehow discovered a man who didn't want to know what life would be like without me

a man who refused to use distance as an excuse and love as a tool 

To try and nail

Then I could peel the very bit of you still clinging to my heart off and look at it without spite

I hope you never have to hear this poem. 

And that the kids we were suppose to have aren't looking down wondering why mommy's so angry at daddy 

ya see because I used to be PISSED 

because daddy was your moms first love

And he taught her how to love.

He loved her in a sense 

But moms love was that of the uconn women 

And your dad's was something like Baylor.

Still present but not apparent

And I couldn't be loved like that

I refused to be loved in secrecy 

and weep in my blankets 

and wipe my tears with the very ink I wrote for you 

trying to silence my cries so my roomate couldn't hear 

I refused to hold on to a heart that was no longer mine

I'm not bitter I promise

And if you take this the wrong way it just proves even more how we weren't meant to be

Because distance wasn't the issue

I think you were just too scared to love anyone as much as I use to love you.

Now I don't.